Speed bumps turning to mountains !!

Week one and it feels like I have been here a year !!!

– by Belle Keynes Tozer

I arrived in New Zealand amped with anticipation for our epic journey which lay ahead of us.

The trip over was as silky and smooth as my ragdoll kitten, I could not believe how easily everthing fell into place. Normally my trips start like the fierce blowing wind of a catergory 5 tornado, rushing out the door leaving a choas of destruction in my wake. Not this time, as I waited in the departure lounge I even had time to play with the camera settings on my new Canon video camera.

A sheepish thought crossed my mind that maybe this was just the beginning of the new me, the new me that was awaiting to shed the skin of the old me. Always late, always rushed and always busy. Now was the time for peace, calm and tranquility. I was supposed to arrive in Kaitaia the day after Laura but it appeared her trip over was not so smooth, delayed flights, thunder, lightning and a scenic flight over the top of Kaitaia before being directed back to Auckland, bummer for her, yay for me as it gave me the day spare to check out the local surf break. I hooked up with the guys at NZ Surf Bros and they are an epic bunch of humans,. If you are up in Northland they can hook you up with board rentals, wetsuits and they have all the local knowledge and epic accommodation right on the beach. Look them up and they can sort you out. http://nzsurfbros.com/

I had no idea Kaitaia was the gate way to one of New Zealand’s best waves, lucky for me the waves were up and I got to see shipwreck bay in all its glory, how could I be so blessed.

That evil voice in my head spoke to me, your not, dont be a fool, your doom is coming. I reminded myself that my old self was going to be desperate to hang on, desperate not to lose the war within myself. Breathe, Breathe, Breathe and the voice was gone.

Laura finally arrived and we prepared for our trek !! The day finally arrived and we were bright with enthusiasm on our way to the starting point of Cape Reinga, and oh what a sight it was. The sky a shade of torqoise blue, beams of sun warmed our tingly skin and the view melted our hearts. We stood on the cape breathing in the salt air and together we took our first steps along “The Land of The Long White Cloud”

Less than one hour into the journey the evil voice in my head would rear its monstrous self as a niggle started to appear in my right hip. “Its too far, you can’t make it, your hips not up to it”. I told it to shut up but the voice continued and the pain bore through my hip like a meat grinder gnawing away at slaughtered cow. By the time we hiked to our first camp site less than 12km away I could barely walk, I knew it was bad, I knew it could be over before it began.

My evil self and my happy positive self began their rounds in the boxing arena. You cant make it, yes you can, no you cant, yes you can. Your a failure, no your not, yes you are. Which voice would win, which one would I choose to feed. Night fall came but sleep did not, as I lay under a million twinkling stars each one blinking with creativity and inspiration I was a broken woman.

I simply could not trek on in this state. I was in shock, how could this be possible. I thought I would get dizzy, I did not imagine in my wildest imagination that my hip would give in. I kept telling myself the morning would come and all would be ok. It was not. I could not go on. Reality hit like a brick in the face, I could not trek on, not today and not like this. I had no other option but to go back to town and get some treatment.

I had to turn around on day two and 20km into a 3000km trek. How could this be. The evil voice had won this battle, it was he that I fed, he that snickered I told you so, each word breaking my heart into a million little pieces.

So alone, so desperate as I waved Laura on, she trekked off alone into the distance.

What to do now, the only thing I could, I burried my head in my hands and I sobbed and I sobbed and I sobbed. Back in Kaitaia I await for Laura’s return and our next move. What is my plan b, I have to have a plan b. I had after all named my business Plan B Media cos plan A never works out. What will it be, well you will have to wait and see !!

Belle

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